Posts Tagged ‘Already Run’
“I’m honoured & humbled,” writes man on LinkedIn after appointing himself CEO of start-up he founded last week
HUMBLE BRAG: A local entrepreneur, thought leader and mentor has spent his Tuesday afternoon writing a 300 word LinkedIn post about how ‘humbled’ he is to get a new job. Mark Paluka has just announced himself as CEO of an ‘innovation hub’ he founded last week. “This honour has left me speechless,” he wrote. The new company which currently has a total staff count of one (including the CEO), has yet to secure any funding or produce any kind of business plan. “From the moment I conceptualised this company last weekend, to my appointment as CEO today, it’s been an…
Read MoreINSTANT ICK: Eastern suburbs woman forced to flee Hinge date after he showed up on a share bike
GHOSTED: A Bellevue Hill has told of the shocking moment her Hinge date arrived on a clunky green Lime bike, prompting her to make a swift exit. “He didn’t even see me I don’t think,” Sally Gibbons told DBT. “I was out of there so quickly.” The pair were set to have a coffee date at a Paddington cafe after matching on the app. But when she saw him arrive on the share bike, complete with helmet and green bicycle basket, she says she got the “instant ick.” “I get that share bikes are good for the environment, and he seemed…
Read MoreThe Golden Sheaf introduce mandatory dress code for males: white sneakers, beige chinos and a white linen shirt
CARBON COPY: In a bold move to ensure fashion consistency among its male patrons, a popular Double Bay pub is implementing a mandatory dress code: white sneakers, beige chinos, and a white linen shirt. “We want to maintain The Golden Sheaf’s reputation as a fashionable and sophisticated venue,” says The Sheaf management. “This is not just a dress code, it’s a community.” From the start of April, male patrons will not be allowed into the venue unless they are wearing the specific uniform set out on the Sheaf’s website. “Let’s face it, that’s all most people wear these days anyway,”…
Read MoreEastern suburbs man applies to go on Farmer Wants A Wife after buying a pair of R.M. Williams
CONCRETE COWBOY: A Double Bay man looking for love is hoping that buying a pair of R.M. Williams will qualify him for Channel Seven’s reality TV show Farmer Wants A Wife. “Working in corporate finance, I rarely get to leave the city to be honest,” Sam Biggs admitted to DBT. “But ever since I bought my R.M. Williams last week from Westfield Bondi Junction, I’ve begun feeling a genuine connection with rural Australia.” The 32 year old, who’s lived in Double Bay his whole life yesterday submitted his application for the next season of the show, in which farmers embark…
Read More#BREAKING: Pauline Hanson calls for name change of Arnott’s ‘Ginger Nut’ biscuits
BISCUIT BROUHAHA: In an address to the senate today, One Nation Leader Pauline Hanson said she’s shining a light on what she calls ‘blatant discrimination.” “It’s a travesty that Coon Cheese is forced into a rebrand, yet Arnott’s Ginger Nut biscuits are allowed to continue trading under their existing name,” she says. “These biscuits are an attack on people with red hair.” Ms Hanson says she regularly feels a victim of discrimination in Australia for having red hair, something made worse by Ginger Nut biscuits. “The brand name of these biscuits is basically a hate crime,” she says. The American…
Read MoreWentworth Courier newspaper now being delivered directly to recycling bins
One of Australia’s most useless local newspapers has announced that from next week it will be delivered directly to recycling bins around Sydney’s east. “Our own research shows very few people actually pick up the Wentworth Courier,” concedes the paper’s publisher, Lyn Wightwick. “Except maybe a few retirees have a read while they’re on the toilet.” Once a powerhouse of real estate advertising, the plastic-wrapped News Corp owned local paper has been battling a tough media climate. The paper has lost its real estate ad revenue to websites that make searching for a suitable home much easier than flipping through…
Read More“It’s so nice to leave the city and get out into the countryside,” says Bondi Junction man walking a lap of Centennial Park
“It also helps justify my man bun,” he says. RURAL RETREAT: In a daring quest for tranquility and a taste of the great outdoors, a Bondi Junction couple has escaped the hustle and bustle of the city by going for a walk in Centennial Park. “I’m so glad we didn’t get sucked into the weekend brunch scene at Bills Bondi again,” said Marc Drake to his wife. “It’s like a whole other world out here.” Armed with nothing more than designer sunglasses and their mobile phones, the couple traversed the park’s vast expanses of grass and trees, marveling at the…
Read MoreRental crisis hits new low: Bondi man offering his own bed as ‘share accommodation’ on domain.com.au
RENT BOY: In a bold move that has redefined the concept of share accommodation, a resourceful Bondi man has listed his own bed as a rental opportunity on domain.com.au. Alex Stern is offering to share his ‘comfortable queen size’ bed in his studio apartment for $300 per week, utilities not included. The ad describes the arrangement as an ‘intimate co-living experience’, and all applicants are asked to submit a photo of themselves. “I’m flexible on price to be honest,” Alex Stern told DBT. “It really depends on the quality of the applicant.” Reactions to the unconventional listing have so far…
Read MoreMerivale unveil new Totti’s wood-fired puffy bread flavoured vape
SMOKE AND MIRRORS: Merivale says it’s aiming to offer the taste of Totti’s famous puffy bread to everyone, even those who are unable to get a reservation at the popular restaurant chain. “Here at Merivale we’re all about inclusion,” says a spokesperson. “That’s why we’re excited to announce the release of a groundbreaking new product: the Totti’s Wood-Fired Bread flavored vape.” Inspired by the irresistible aroma of freshly baked bread wafting from Totti’s famed wood-fired oven, the vape promises to deliver the authentic taste with every puff. “It’s a great option for those who want the taste of Totti’s bread,…
Read MoreKEEPING UP APPEARANCES: Westfield Bondi shopper using Kookai bag to conceal items she just bought at Kmart
FASHION FAUX PAS: The eastern suburbs fashion scene is in shock tonight, after a Westfield Bondi Junction shopper was caught red-handed using a Kookai shopping bag to disguise items she bought at discount retailer Kmart. A DBT reporter was on hand at Kmart to witness Kate Medhurst buy a scented candle, a 5-pack of socks and an inflatable unicorn pool float, totalling $10. “At the self checkout, she quickly put the items in the Kookai carry bag and strolled confidently out of Kmart and into the shopping centre,” says our reporter. “I followed her and asked her to show me…
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